iv tried your steps and it dont even show my xbox account on there and when i try to log into my ea account via the xbox login button it say im ineligable to log in
When you have a chance can you try resetting the password on your EA Account to see if that helps at all? In some cases setting a new account password can help with the error messages you've been seeing.
For more details on how to reset it check out the EA Help website. If you're still having trouble logging into the game afterward I'd recommend getting in touch with the EA Help team so they can bring up your account and take a look. You can find more info on how to create a case with them at the EA Help site.