April - last edited April
I have to brag just a little about methodology. (If you don’t wish to read it, you may skip to the pictures.)
First of all, most Heroes in the game of PvZ have a fairly straight-foreword path to a turn 3 win (at least theoretically). But turn 2 is a whole different animal. My first attempt at pulling it off was with Zombology Teacher and and Going Viral, a duo that can literally go infinite by Turn 2 (if you have 3 Teachers). But there are obvious problems. For one, you need... 3 Teachers by Turn 2, preferably in your opening hand. Then you need the first Teacher to live at LEAST until Zombie Tricks (assuming you have a trick that can protect it). Your NEXT two Teachers have to live until Tricks as well, and your draw has to be perfect.
And even if you pull off the “perfect hand” (which I did, several times, with a deck I built specially for my Turn 2 quest, which I called “Holy Grail”), and survive through disruption (which I didn’t...) you have to draw into at least several cards you don’t have yet, such as a single copy of Beam Me Up and some more Going Virals. And THEN you have to get insanely lucky with the block meter (b/c you need probably 4,5,6 hits, realistically, including your Teacher on Turn 1). So you can’t just check your hand and concede vrs. the AI if it isn’t perfect. You have to check your hand, probably concede, and then face almost inevitable disappointment even if you strike 4-of-a-kind-like opening-hand odds.
My next idea was Bad Moon Rising, a Trick known for wins out of nowhere. Huge Giganticus can pull off a Turn 2 Bad Moon... theoretically (So can Prof. Brainstorm, but Huge is easier.) But you need at least four 1-drop Mustache Zombies, at least 2 of which need to be Mustache Waxers. Although it’s less susceptible to disruption than Teacher/Viral, Waxer/Rising has the same problem of needing a near-perfect hand with multiple copies of the same card, AND getting the correct Superpower AND Turn 2 draw. And THEN you have to get lucky with Bad Moon (which can whiff hard) AND the block meter. You have to get lucky on top of getting lucky, on top of getting lucky.
I pulled off the Turn 2 Bad Moon Rising once. It whiffed.
So, Pets. Right? I hated to do it, because Pets is the only deck I’ve mentioned so far that comes close to something that is actually relevant in the competive meta. Pets with Turn 1 Cat Lady into Turn 2 Cat Lady/Double Goat/Pet Superpower can do 20 damage in two lanes. Dolphinado has the advantage of bouncing a blocker to facilitate the attempt.
However, in addition to drawing a hand that is about as particular as our Bad Moon Rising Hand, plants have a myriad of options to kill or block at least one of your Cat Ladies by Turn 2. I figured I could spend a lot of time playing a deck I didn’t like only to set myself up for disappointment.
So I didn’t try it.
Enter Space Cowboy.
If you read my recent poem, you know I’ve been mildly obsessed with Space Cowboy lately. This is why.
Space Cowboy is a 4-Drop, but with Huge, a little reduction magic, and a Brain Vender, you can cast him Turn 2. Then all you need is four lanes and a couple ways to buff him that don’t require any brains at all. Presto. A four-card opening hand with, say, royal-straight-like instead of four-of-a-kind-esq odds, with no Turn 2 “draw” requirements, and plant disruption (opposing Brain Vender) actually HELPS you get the W.
I played a bunch of ranked and casual matches, and failing to get the right combinations organically, decided I would spend some time conceding to the AI to make these pictures happen. It only took me about fifteen minutes (and look at my opponent! Thank GOODNESS it didn’t have a Grave Buster.)
April - last edited April
Thank you for saying so!
After posting, I did a quick Google search for PvZ Heroes Fastest Win and Turn 2. I found a couple videos from 2017 (Captain C and Super Brainz), which, while both interesting solutions to the Turn 2 problem, both required your opponent to trigger your super block, and for you to draw the correct superpower off block. (Both options I hadn’t considered! But also probably wouldn’t try, because there would be no way of telling from your opening hand if the game was going to pan out for you... i.e. the time investment might be extraordinary.)
Then there was a written list of about 8 more solutions, most of which required a specific advantageous transfiguration played by Citron or Rose.
These were fun to read... but I prefer to solve problems without assuming your opponent is simply going to mess up or assist you. (Mine did in the picture, but one could argue it was still the correct play - and the AI could just have easily played like a Garlic in Lane 1 and a Hothead in Lane 3, which is what I would have done.)
So I’m pretty pleased. :-)