@ErectRainbow wrote:
I don't care if I come off as toxic. What I said has to be said. Someone needs to say it and that someone will be me. I spent 8 hours a day at a minimum often more 10 to 12 or even 14 playing this game every single day of season 5 trying to get better. That was 100 days. That was over 3 months. And I improved tremendously. I became one of the best players to ever touch this game. I worked hard and I pushed through and I persevered and I committed to it and I got what I deserved.
But now they've turned skill based matchmaking back on for you pathetic bots. Just so you can play in your safe spaces and pretend you're as good as me. Like I said I have 3000 hours logged in this game and I don't deserve to feel miserable every single time I play this game. I don't deserve to doubt myself. I don't deserve to hate myself for the decisions I make. I don't deserve to think I've lost my shine. I don't deserve to feel like I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to have my favorite game literally make me feel worse about myself every time I play it. I don't deserve to have all my hard work mean nothing in the end because I can't even solo queue because I get steamrolled by 3 stacks of people with badges just because I want to solo queue. I want to relax while playing this game. I used to play to relax. I used to play to have a little fun. To spread positivity around and troll and throw games and give people loot and let people self revive and make the game feel like it's not the sweatfest we all know it to be. I don't want to feel like I have to snort a line of Adderall every time I go back to the lobby screen to stay competitive.
You can't begin to understand why I feel the way I do because you're all bots. You're all trash. You have nothing invested in the game you don't care. So why is it that your experience is so much more important than mine? I could sit here for the rest of the night and explain in more detail why all of this is wrong but you'll never understand or care. You're just bots who want an easy and cheap win to impress your friends that don't really care. Skill based matchmaking literally ruins games. It makes them unfun. It makes them unplayable. If you ever get anywhere near as good as I do you'll begin to understand why.
You don't come off as toxic to me. You come off as unstable and wrong.
You said everyone else needs SBMM because they need their safe space. But you fail to recognize that you are essentially asking for a safe space by demanding it be removed. Your mental health is at stake by your own admission. Probably drug dependency is also a risk; again your words not mine.
And no wonder. If youre playing 6-12 hours per day as you said you've effectively made this game your entire purpose. If its your job and your source of income that makes sense but in the same breath that doesn't mean you're being healthy about it. That doesn't mean this is good for you and you should continue. I understand how hard it is to step away but you need to weigh and measure the cost and benefit of continuing in this manner.
Seriously. Take care of yourself. Your instability is a manifestation of your lack of self care.
