S7 stories for the children

[hayhor]

@Koochi-Q Nothing will top Daddy I have poop on my butt! As a father I dreaded those words, especially if I was doing something important. 🤣

[Koochi-Q]

Finally I have one that needs to be told and it'll be heralded throughout the ages for centuries to come...

Second game dailies after first JM was me but didn't realize so I wasn't there and left (yes... the one time I'm not there the game puts me in JM title still XD I'm ashamed of this fact)... Ohhh wait, second game was with 1 other guy so I quit that one as well...

Okay third game *clears throat* I see one lvl 68 Gibby & low badge crypto so I'm already disliking this... Trajectory starts at towers or bonsai (whichever is right next to docks and supercarrier). Crypto already drops 1/2 seconds late and wants to go to towers... I'm already on mic saying "Nope, you already drop late, we're halfway behind enemies and you want to go there, have fun dying". I steer towards that lonely place to the left of it between towers and supercarrier... I loot there, crypto also comes after 20 secs of running around close to towers while Gibby is still in there and promptly dies... Crypto uses drone to pick up banner and I respawn... What does this lvl 58 or 68 Gibby do? Run straight to towers without anything again (was not as if he had anything to run back towards to begin with). I loot supercarrier and crypto comes and Gibby runs over towards containers for whatever reason.

Suddenly I hear a non-turbocharged havoc keep clicking when I'm at the front of supercarrier and indicate an enemy's near... Gibby still between supercarrier & docks running around, crypto in middle looting, enemy ziplines in and I promptly take him out and thirst him immediately... 30 secs later his teammate comes from middle of supercarrier and crypto who's still there runs away but pings... I engage the target, kill and thirst him... but I already hear a zipline and figure last one came for banner so I run back but no enemy...

They get respawn off in docks... (this all played out in 1.5 mins or something)... Gibby still in same spot doing nothing but finally equipped blue shields even tho there were 6 or so in supercarrier. I ping dropship and go there... these 2 don't follow... it takes another 40 secs or so to get there and into position.

I think screw it and walk up right beside the building they're in... after 40 secs before the aforementioned 40 secs crypto finally starts coming after droning god knows where. Gibby follows 20 secs after him. I hear a pk and already think 'where did these guys get a pk from'.

After 20 secs of both our teams knowing the other team is there, Crypto is first to start attacking from one side so I open another entrance and burst in trying to take enemies by surprise cause I know it's 3v2 and they're noobish from what I've seen... I down the guy who ziplined to get his teammate's banner, but promptly get shot from behind (while shooting at the guy the crypto was shooting but who was still at seemingly full shield when I shot him even after being in a shootout for over 10 secs and I heard no healing...). I crawl away thinking one of them will revive me... well just watch the video...

https://www.kapwing.com/videos/5fde4d3604f7d9003d227f86

Haven't raged so properly in a while... I felt ecstatic and annoyed as hell after it... Damages you ask? I did 660 (so first guy blue shield + thirst (275) + another blue shield (dunno how much I did on him but lets also say 275 cause that adds up with the final guy who I downed who still hard armor) + most of the damage seemingly from that last guy I only downed = 660... So basically 3 blue shielded on my own... Crypto 110 (likely shot enough at the guy who downed him or shot at the downed guy or did a bit of dmg in towers (this is least likely the case as I never heard him firing there))... Gibby...? 12 or 16...

So if you think you have unteamlike teammates, think again... This isn't even an isolated incident cause last week I had the same kind of teammates which made me quit playing apex solo except for dailies. Many times I've said it but then got some good games and thought 'well I can play a few more' but that game was the one that made me not do anything other than dailies...


Luckily after this game today I came in a good team with lifeline & wraith who did so much right and got us the win that it felt incredible XD It wasn't the best match but towards the end, some pretty fortunate stuff happened... ;D Look closely as I inch my way toward him to hopefully distract him for a sec thinking I have a gold knockdown and he actually starts shooting at me :P

https://www.kapwing.com/videos/5fde54d0815d550093b4d269

[EdwardDLuffy]

Very weird kill yesterday. I land at Orbital Cannon and run in the central room as a Bangalore approaches from the other side. F*ck that there are weapons there we have a right royal ding dong puncharoony. I am LL because some skin bag took Rev (who turned out to be trash and jumped off the map). Bang *just* wins. She punches me once while I am downed but then decides to leave me alone. I think she is grabbing weapons to finish me but no, she is being nice and leaves the room ...

... and promptly falls off the map giving me the kill.

Sadly the LL who found me cowering in a corner was not so lenient.

[Koochi-Q]

@EdwardDLuffy Please tell me you clipped that

[E9ine_AC]

Try to play on new york and Virginia servers and ill attempt to give you things to fear at night in your sleep. Or a great story to tell your grandkids about this one time this guy tried to run up on us and we made him swiss cheese. 

[pastaclown]

Last night I needed one knock with a sniper rifle to finish my BP, so I went through every match asking for a sniper in champ select with, "LF sniper rifle, any please". 

Lo and behold I get some little rat who responds with, "stfu, LF sniper rifle, fu--ing dunce". Couldn't quit cause the possibility of a sniper, couldn't mute because that function LITERALLY doesn't work anymore. I steal his blue shield, and he then dies, and spends the rest of the game berating me, calling me toxic, etc. etc. Of course, because I don't have a mic, I get to live with the knowledge that reporting them doesn't do anything, all the while I get to sit there listening to this guy try to make me out as the bad guy while they literally spewed bile each time they opened their mouth.

"Apex doesn't need a solo mode it's a team game!" Precisely, that's why I love having a teammate that's so far gone from being an actual living breathing person, that they literally stew in their own apathy and vitriol, so much so that being toxic and trying to get people to argue with them constitutes (in their book) as a personality trait. It's genuinely saddening that someone has fallen so far that their only source of enjoyment stems from being as toxic as possible to people. 

[hayhor]

@EdwardDLuffy Where is the video?